Recognition, Reinforcement, Exploration & Sense of Self

How Recognition, Reinforcement and Exploration Over the Course of Social Development Impacts Sense of Self and Interpersonal Interactions

Reflection: What has the consistency or reliability of your attachment figures in life been like? How has your independence been developed and encouraged? How have your accomplishments been acknowledged or celebrated? What are your gifts and qualities? When do you feel most powerful, confident and creative? What do you want to stand for and contribute to the world? How do you solve problems and take leadership?

What was the consistency of your earliest caregivers or attachment figures like? Could you rely on your needs to be met consistently? What do you need to feel safe? The consistency of our caregivers from birth to one years of age impacts our trust, ​​confidence and security in the environments around us and within ourselves over the course of our lives. How has the level of consistency experienced in your upbringing impacted your security within yourself and your relationships with others?

How has your independence been encouraged or supported over the course of your social development? Between the ages of one to three, when we experience a lack of exploration in our independence and are criticized, controlled or have minimal opportunities to assert ourselves or make decisions; oftentimes we can develop a sense of shame, doubt and inadequacy in our own abilities. With encouragement and support in our increased independence, we become more confident and secure in our own abilities to survive in the world.

Reflect on when you feel most powerful. How comfortable do you feel in taking initiative, planning or sharing ideas? What are your leadership qualities? From ages three to six, we begin to explore the ability to make decisions and lead others, and whether we are responded to in supportive or more critical and controlling ways, can impact our sense of self-initiative or guilt in taking leadership and making decisions over the course of our identity and social development.

When do you feel most confident? What are you passionate about? What do you take pride in? What influences your passions? How have your accomplishments been celebrated over the course of your social development, by yourself and others? How has your creativity, self expression and communication been encouraged or restricted? Between the age of six to puberty, when we are encouraged and reinforced for our initiative in taking actions and accomplishing goals, we develop a sense of diligence and confidence in reaching our optimal potential. When we experience the contrary, we develop a sense of doubt and inferiority in reaching our potential.

The adolescent experience during our transition from childhood to adulthood is very significant. This is the time in which we begin developing our independence and reflect on the future possibilities of our lives. Through exploration of these possibilities, we begin to develop our very own identities. When this exploration is hindered, we begin to question our presence and purpose in the world. What are some of your qualities and gifts? What are some of your favorite qualities or labels given to you by others? What brings you joy and satisfaction? When do you feel most creative? What do you want your life to look like? What do you want to stand for or represent?

As we become young adults, we begin to share ourselves more intimately with others, build relationships and develop commitment and care for others. What do you value in friendship and community? With whom or with what kinds of individuals do you feel safest or most connected to? What do you need to feel secure in your relationships with friends or intimate partners?

We begin developing a sense of being a part of a larger purpose and contribution to the world in ways beyond ourselves at the middle of our adulthood. We may begin developing deeper relationships, creating families, establishing or changing careers, engaging in community work or other experiences. When we lack these experiences, we can feel stagnant in our lives and unproductive in our missions. As we age, we begin to slow down and reflect on our accomplishments in, contributions to and satisfaction with life. What larger purpose are you serving? What are your contributions to the world?

Though we may face barriers along the way in our stages of social development that impact our ability to develop a healthy and balanced emotional health, sense of self and ability to achieve life tasks; the great news is, there is always an opportunity to tend to and improve our areas of development. Reflect on these experiences of upbringing and development and the questions posed. How have you received adequate validation, reinforcement and exploration over the course of your life? How may you need to provide some of these things to yourself and reaffirm yourself? How can these concepts be provided by new support systems if you’ve lacked them with others?